Covid Diaries

—- Pages from a Dentist’s Diary

30th Aug, 2020

Last 2 months have been quite hectic. I shifted to a new place as I decided to stay alone and at peace. Meanwhile, there came a notice. We, dentists have been directed to perform Covid duties at a Government Medical Hospital. I was the 1st female dentist posted at the isolation ward. I was asked to join for duty on the 1st of September, 2020.

Covid Duty

I shifted to another room during my duty, for isolation.

Day 1 – Afternoon shift – 2pm-10pm

The isolation ward building had 4 floors, I was posted on the 4th. As I entered, I saw a doctors’ room flooded with people. I waited for 5 whole minutes before I was given way to enter inside. I had no idea who was who and what I was supposed to do. Soon I met my colleague posted along with me and we introduced ourselves. I was told that we need to go for daily rounds and update every patient’s condition and also look after admissions and discharges. The 1st day passed by as I tried to get acquainted with the new work.

Day 2 – Morning shift – 8am-2pm

As I entered my shift, I saw a dead body lying on the floor near the ward. I was told 3 patients passed away, 2 brought dead. I was surprised. Never had I experienced anything similar before. I had to sign death notes for nearly 4 people in the first 2 days of my duty. And how did they die? Respiratory arrest,  Covid positive. This was one diagnosis I had been hearing everyday. This was reality, not the one we see in news or in papers.

Soon, I also realized that the building had around 300-400 patients, 80% of them being Covid Positive.

Day 3 – Night shift – 10pm-8am

This was the 1st night shift of my life. I attended duty post dinner unaware of what was going to happen overnight. I saw that the density of patients was low during those hours. But conditions might change in an instant. There would be sudden admissions of new patients coming in a critical condition in the wee hours of the day, when the rest of the world would be fast asleep. Some would need emergency care and immediate action. It was a strange feeling. I slept hardly for an hour and stayed awake most of the times. It was during this 1st night shift of mine that I learnt a few basic emergency management protocols.

Day 4 – Afternoon shift – 2pm-10pm

It was tiresome and hectic. Lots of paperwork coming in and patient queries, few deaths. Without sleep overnight, we all just burned ourselves with sleep, hunger and work. It was difficult.

As soon as it was 10, we rushed to our rooms in dire need of some rest.

Day 5 – Morning shift – 8am-2pm

The marathon of shifts since the last 2 days was chewing our head off. People were dying and things were building up. We kept pushing ourselves.

It was finally at 2 o clock that we were relieved. We came back to our rooms and then it was all time to sleep for the next 24 hrs. The next duty was night shift the next day.

Day 6 – Night shift – 10pm-8am

It was a little better than the 1st one. I wasn’t feeling sleepy, I was getting used to it. But today was more restless, I couldn’t sleep even for a minute. I stayed wide awake the whole of the night, waiting for the sun to rise. 2 critical patients had come for admission at 2 in the night and they were struggling all night even with proper care.

Day 7 – Afternoon shift – 2pm-10pm

The patients’ condition stayed the same. They were shifted to ICU, but saw no improvement. All I remember was their family repeatedly asking us to help them out. We were just as helpless as them, with patients pouring in and all the noisy routine happening all around.

Day 8 –Morning Shift – 8am-2pm

One of the 2 critical patients had passed away. I remember the attendant asking me a few minutes before that they would shift her elsewhere. I also vaguely remember me telling him, ‘her condition isn’t good, she is in ICU, where would you take her now?.’

This was the last shift of my duty.

At the end of the day, there are a few things I want to mention about.

I always aspired to be a medico. Infact, I was broken when I had to choose to become a dentist. But this duty helped me realize what the life of a medico is like. It put me in a place which I thought I could never be in. I am proud to have been there, to have experienced what I did and will forever mark it. It was difficult, yes, but it made me proud.

I salute all the Medical Doctors who spend most of their life in these conditions. It’s a sacrifice they are doing for us all. They don’t have time for anything else in life, not even like us, dentists. How much ever we appreciate them, it is nothing. And what are we people doing? Blaming them for whatever we wish to? Attacking them? Complaining that they charge more? This is ruthless.

The place where I was posted in, was always steaming with people. And who are these people? Covid positive patients and their attendants. They come in into the doctor’s room, forget about social distancing,  few don’t even put masks and a few more even shout on the doctors  and make issues or even manhandle them, when they don’t like something. These are the same doctors who are working for you in these adverse conditions without worrying about getting infected or any personal gain for that matter, and this is how you repay them. What kind of a society are we living in?

I personally have seen patients die here. Me, with no previous experience of such bad situations and with only a few minutes of acquaintance with the patient, felt anxious and for a few moments, even worried about what is going to happen to them. I felt very bad when I saw them lose the battle for life. Imagine the compassion we would feel for each and every other patient we see, the kind of an emotional rollercoaster the doctors  go through.

They are selfless, yes! For a simple reason that they are Doctors! They have been accepting their duty and responsibility for us all and we are taking it for granted. Shameless us!

Appreciating them with flowers, garlands and claps isn’t enough.

Respect them, as a person and as a professional. That is all I ask for!!

For, they are doing a job greater than anyone else can.!

Depression

and how to help fight it.!!

It has been a while since I have been thinking about writing this article. But the right time is now, I guess.

We all are aware of the latest sad news of an actor committing suicide due to depression. This is not the first time something like this has happened. A similar incident happened in Tollywood few years back, where another popular and upcoming actor also fell prey to death in the same way.

Let’s talk about nepotism and the reasons behind such incidents another time, for now let us restrict ourselves to this looming danger, ‘Depression’.

What do you mean when someone is in depression?

Are they sad?

Are they lonely?

Are they negative people who don’t seem to get along with others?…

Depression is a state of deep sadness. It’s like a black hole that pulls everything into it. It makes the mind run so hard and so fast that it gets totally out of control. It’s like a magnet that attracts the mind and focuses it on only the negative outcomes of a situation. It’s a scary condition that could make even an extremely intelligent person crazy.

First let me tell you all that the condition as such has no link to what the person is. However strong the person is, whatever he does, this condition can affect him when there is a strong reason. The reason could be personal, failed relationships, professional rivalry, financial troubles, debts, anything.

So, what happens when a person gets depressed?. This is where everything starts getting entangled. One thought on top of another, and it doesn’t stop there. The mind gets so over – active, it doesn’t even let you sleep. Thoughts…thoughts…thoughts, every minute, when awake, even in sleep. Although the issue lies in one aspect, the mind puts that negative feeling everywhere. It basically mixes everything up, relates them and starts taking control of the person rather than the person taking control of the mind. Yes, you could say depression and weak mindedness walk hand – in – hand. One leads to the other.

You can ask me how I am so sure of all this. Am I a psychiatrist? No. I am not. I am a doctor nevertheless, but this understanding of the condition comes from my experience of dealing with few close friends of mine who resorted to suicidal attempts owing to depression and also with my personal experience.

You cannot simply talk a person out of depression or much worse, ignore things he/she says thinking they will ignore them too. Nobody can snap out of it just like that. It’s chaos in their mind. A normal person in a chaotic situation would choose to shout to make it stop. For a depressed person, it’s all in their mind. Do you think shouting would help?. Although the person would feel like it, more or less, but sadly can’t do it either. It’s terrible. It’s like 10 people sitting in your head and constantly shouting. Can you stand that? they won’t have an option.

So in what way can we be of help to these people?. Listen, listen and listen. The best gift we could give them is by lending an ear. Let them pour out all they have, let the mind get empty. Let them realize they can talk too, without judgement. Give them the comfort of sharing their thoughts and see the magic work. I wouldn’t say talking to a random person helps, it needs to be somebody who is willing to make some changes for them in life, someone close. So, here comes the role of the loved ones in their lives, show them that they are loved and cared for.

If it’s one of your friends that struggling through such a rough patch, you could be their support system atleast, even if you can’t change their life totally. You can choose to be their shoulder so that they won’t feel left out.

And for people fighting through depression, my advise to you all would be to start focusing on means to develop a strong mind. Start meditating and practicing breathing techniques. Take a break away from everything that’s worrying you and for once start putting all your attention on your own self. Practice self love and self worth, this is the key. Once you realize what you are capable of, things will start changing on their own. You will be surprised to see how far you have come from the point which, once upon a time you thought, was the end.

“Don’t succumb to anything that easily, make yourself proud by standing tall through everything.”

I guess this is the best I can do as of now.

I will also be ready to listen to anyone, in case you would need me 🙂

Take care everyone!.

An Equal World is an Enabled World✌

Men and Women.!!

why compare them and not see them individually?

We have seen and heard innumerable arguments on equality of men and women. Some people say both are equal while some others say both cannot be as they are born for different purposes. I want to ask just a simple question, why compare them and not see them individually? Before considering gender, see them as individual people. Every person has the same right to live, to do what they wish to do with their lives and take decisions as per his/her own interest.

A woman who is outspoken and independent isn’t wrong, likewise a man who is not very social and prefers solitude isn’t odd. It’s just about the individual preferences. Stop speaking about what the society thinks instead realize that we are what make that society. We all are a part of it and ‘what the society thinks’ is actually what we in large numbers, think and reflect.

Gender indifference and feminism have become the big words of the present days. Do understand that everything has two sides.  More than blindly taking one side and arguing that we are always right, we need to be more open minded, either way.  Feminism in reality is about providing equal rights to women, not to degrade the opposite sex.  Similarly, men need not always be the masters and decision makers. Anything that’s one sided can become disastrous.

Equality is not to be discussed in terms of man/woman but in terms of necessity, opportunities and calibre. A person who is capable of handling a job has every right to take it up, be it a man or a woman. Likewise, housework, it’s not just a woman’s job to manage the household and kids. Yes, there was a time when there was a clear cut difference between duties and responsibilities of either of them, but things have changed, this is a world of equal opportunities and equal rights atleast of individual lives, let’s embrace this change and not resist it so as to make our lives more peaceful and the world a better place to live in.

Always strive to be better, happier and stronger than you were yesterday.! 🙂💪

The Silent Scream

Blog Anniversary! 🎈

Time for a little story

As a child, I always had my personal diary with me. I used to write all good things, hurtful things, I used it to hide flowers, chocolate wrappers and all such mysterious stuff 😄. And I always tucked them in a safe corner, lest anyone could find and read them, of course it had all my secrets! 🤫

Years passed, I forgot about writing and got busy with my education. There were many moments when I missed my diary, but I couldn’t find time for it. 😕

Later when I started using cellphone and gradually was given a smartphone, watsap again inspired me to write quotes as statuses. I started saving things I wrote. I wrote quotes, short and funny ones, inspirational ones and even long paragraphs when I was really excited about something! 📝

It was not until recently that I again re – found my long held passion and decided to put an end to the silence of my hovering thoughts , instead, I would let everyone listen to it. So, I started this blog, my own little blog where I would express my feelings in writing, thus,

‘The Silent Scream..writing for expressing.’ 😊

👉 https://the-silent-scream.com/ 👈

And today is exactly AN YEAR after I promised myself to write a post each day and when I look back today,

“365 days of blogging
444 posts
and a Happy Face!”
🤩

1 Year To My Blog,
One Of The Best Gifts I Have Given To Myself !
♥️

🙂 Happiness lies more in the efforts you put to do things you always wanted. Afterall, what’s life without a dream and what’s a dream without making it true! 🙃

Starry Nights ! 🌠

All the Skygazers!! This is for you 😊

If you are one among those unlucky ones who missed the rare alignment of Jupiter, Saturn and Mars around mid April this year, there’s another brilliant event this month you wouldn’t want to miss!

Yes, there’s Lyrid meteor shower which is already happening and is expected to peak tonight, ie 21st April through the dawn of 22nd April.

Now, what is this shower all about?.

A meteor is basically a space rock that enters the earth’s atmosphere. We all have learnt this in our childhood, but as we grew up, we forgot the beauty of it. So, when this rock passes through the earth’s atmosphere, the friction or resistance between them, burns it out. So those shooting stars/meteorites that we see are actually balls of fire arising from these burning rocks that totally burn out before even reaching the earth.

The present meteor shower we are talking about are from Comet Thatcher whose orbit is running close to the earth’s around 20th April. So the remnants from its tail are what will make the sky beautiful tonight.

But why is it called the Lyrid shower?

Usually, the meteors are named after the constellation that they appear in. Tonight it will be seen near the Lyra constellation, beside Hercules, hence the name.!

Also, remember that although this shower is relatively common every year, this year the visibility might be better considering the moon phase which is farther away from a full moon. So, the sky is going to be a little darker helping us out! 😊

Look out for this event around mid night 12-2 am tonight or early hours tomorrow, in a place away from city nights.

Happy Skygazing!! 🧡

5 Things to do in this quarantine..

to kill time productively.!

Kill time and Productively? Sounds like an oxy moron right! Strange as it may sound, there are a few things you can do in this lockdown for fun as well as to sharpen your skills.

Here is a list of 5 things that’s keeping me occupied.!

  1. Cooking* – Kitchen is the right place to put in your creative skills together. Select new ingredients, mix and match them up to create a taste that activates your taste buds and become a chef. Chan! Simple ain’t it! Try it 👈. *You will find a few recipes on my Facebook page, if it helps 😁, want more professional recipes then check out PK’s Kitchen Equations @ 👉http://pkskitchenequations.com/ 👈
  2. Blogging – If you already have a website, blog, YouTube channel you don’t need my advise, if you don’t, then try working on one. It definitely sharpens your writing and expressive skills. Put up articles, posts, videos whatever you can think of. It expands your thought process and improves your language too! Well, @ https://the-silent-scream.com/ this is mine 😊
  3. Apps – Nowadays who doesn’t have a smartphone? When we have one, instead of using it for chatting or scrolling through social media apps, look into those that are productive as well as fun! Try Tinkle app if you are a comic lover. They are giving 1 month free subscription too. Or try Brain out, a gaming app with cool logical puzzles to give you that satisfaction of being silly. 😀
  4. Clean up the Clutter – Remember that rack you were always scared to open? Or the one you always pile up stuff with? Now’s the time, open it. Feel free to throw away things that aren’t of any more use to you. De – clutter your shelf, home and mind.! Psychology says a relaxed mind comes from relaxed surroundings and happiness doubles when your surroundings are neat. Do it now!
  5. Explore your inner self – Sounds too boring, yes I know, but once you get into the groove it’s pretty interesting. Try taking some time for meditating daily, or taking a stroll in your garden or verandah ( strictly no walks outside home please, maintain social distancing ). Once things get back to normal, you are not going to get this time again, utilize it to cleanse yourself mentally. It should be like hitting the refresh button on the computer. Come out of lockdown fresh, clear and more happy than before.

You will be ready to rule again!!. 😎

Bored in lockdown? Check out this list of cool movies.!

Yeah, all of us are having a tough time with Corona virus all around, and all this stillness in our lives. But I always choose the positive side, so I am in fact finding time to do things I find interesting, you know cool things like gardening, reading, checking old pictures, hearing lots of music, well cooking ofcourse and movies.!!

I know movies are one of our favourite pass times, with lockdown or without!

So, I have got here a list of 10 good ones that I have recently seen, not restricted to a particular genre or language…its a mix up of all kinds, as I enjoy any genre, if the content is good. Do check out and put me a feedback.

Will be happy to hear from you people.! 🙂

  1. 10, 000 BC [2008] – A prehistoric Action – Adventure

A film staged in the pre historic era and revolves around a love story of the lead characters. It’s good to see how destiny reveals itself because of unshakable love for someone. Worth watching.

2. Law Abiding Citizen [2009] – Thriller

A crime, action drama based on the revenge of a guy who loses his family right in front of his eyes. It depicts how justice is sometimes denied owing to loopholes in the legal system and how much it affects the affected.!

3. Chef [2014] – Family Drama

Want to watch a cool family film with everyone? Choose this. It’s a movie based on the life of a chef, who gets so absorbed in his routine, he forgets what he actually enjoys in life. It’s all about balancing yet finding happiness in our passion and life.!

4. 12 Years A Slave [2013] – Drama/History

This Oscar winning, slave narrative drama based on a true story and inspired by the book on the same name is a must watch.

5. Avane Srimannarayana [2019] – Fantasy Adventure Comedy

A kannada film, subtitles will help you like it helped me out, but a real entertaining movie. Dose of comedy, with a strong storyline and a different narration and taking, I would definitely recommend you to try this.

6. Kalki [2019] – Action Thriller

A telugu film! 🙂 with a good storyline. This movie has one of those mythologically mixed up versions of the storyline which actually makes it interesting. Its based on the destiny of the lead character who was supposedly born to win over the existing atrocities in his surroundings. The narration with a hint of comedy in the lead character’s version makes it entertaining.

7. Untraceable [2008] – Crime Thriller

A real gripping movie with a strong suspense story that revolves around a techie guy murdering people in live! If you enjoy thrillers, you are going to love this one.!

8. Crazy Rich Asians [2018] – Romantic Comedy

This movie is one of my favorites! A feel good love story of a strong, independent woman who goes a long way trying to protect her relationship with the man she loves. The emotion, love and the struggle is all worth it. For people who cry watching movies, this is another one for you ! 😀

9. Hit [2020] – Mystery/Thriller

Another telugu movie :), a recent release. Though I am not sure how it fared in the box office, this is really worth a watch. The story is pretty interesting and keeps you glued to your seat. This movie is probably going to have sequels, as this is called ‘Hit – The First Case’. Watch it!

10. Section 375 [2019] – Drama

A legal drama, this hindi movie depicts how Indian law can be manipulated. The story revolves around a rape case, poking into all the loopholes of evidence, clearly portraying how everything can be manipulated to win/lose a case. Definitely an insightful movie.!

So, here it is, my list of 10 recommendations as of now, will get more soon! And yes, most of them can be streamed on Amazon Prime @ https://www.primevideo.com/

Good time watching !!! 🙂 Cheers.!!

Room No.6 .! 😐

The room colored by the early morning sun.!

Being an ardent fan of horror/thriller/mystery genre, I have always enjoyed the thrill they provide and the scares such movies/novels create. Little did I know I would end up experiencing it practically one day.

Sometime back, I had been on a trip to North East, Shillong to be more specific. We booked a guest house after much research and negotiation for our stay. I had in fact been dreaming about staying in it even before we started for our trip. It was a beautiful property with cozy rooms. But all this changed once I reached the place.


We reached the property around 7:30 in the evening, when almost half of the city shuts down. By 8:30 it completely shuts down considering the night temperatures of around 9-11°C. It was pretty dark and chilly by the time we reached. As we entered, we found 2 women, girls to be more precise in the local traditional dress at the desk who escorted us to our room. To my surprise the room was a little away from the main guest house with 2-3 pet dogs around and literally no people at all. Only our room was occupied and apart from the 2 help girls, there was no one around. Anyway, I was happy that I was given the room I had very much requested for instead of the random ones they usually give.
But it was after I entered it that my feelings changed. My first instinct somehow was to run away from there. The room was pretty, cozy and completely wood made. It had a lavish washroom, the size almost close to that of the room and even a wooden fireplace. It had an overlooking balcony from where we could see the rest of the property on one end and complete darkness on the other. What bothered me more was that the shelves as well as the fireplace were locked and hidden. The entire look felt eerie. It felt as though the place held secrets and that scared me more.
This carried my thoughts into the conversation that I initially had with the house owner about that room. Actually, though the guesthouse had 6 rooms, only 5 of them were usually arranged for guests. But because I really was interested in the 6th, I had to request the owner for it for which I was told that the room is locked for visitors because the owners daughter often stays there when she comes for a visit. So I asked them if it was available during my stay and to arrange for it. The owner thought for a while and then said yes. I regretted my request later.

It somehow gave me chills, I was pretty sure I would find someone in the closet or the washtub for the negative vibes I felt. It felt like the darkest dark night. I couldn’t sleep all night. I just waited for the night to end and the sunlight to come in. I remember my husband waking up early and opening all the windows for the light to enter and it was then that I felt at ease.


The most scariest night of my life had ended. But wait, I had to spend another one there !!. 😳

#WorldWar 3

What is this all about?.

These sparks flew due to the targeted killing of Qasem Soleimani, one among the top military figure’s of Iran by the US.

A drone strike was performed by the US troops near the Baghdad airport early Friday killing Soleimani. Iran vowed ‘severe retaliation’ following the event. This has flared tension between the nation’s resulting in speculations on World War III.

So, What do you think? World War III?

Science Vs Spirituality

The other day I had been to a spiritual course and like every other participant, I introduced myself. During the course, the instructor kept pointing me out in many instances saying doctor is here, I hope she agrees with me and all. I thought he was really being interactive with me and infact I liked his approach.
It was after I came back that I realized, maybe he was surprised to find a doctor in a spiritual course!

Yeah people often think science and spirituality are antonyms which infact , isn’t right at all. A doctor infact could be more spiritual than an average person is. Considering the stress he takes to save a life, he will possibly be the first person to realize that everything is just not in his control.
But mind you, spirituality is not same as religiousness. Religion is belief in another form while spirituality is belief in our own extended form. It’s about the soul and the various dimensions of existence. It is understanding the intricacies of the mind and the quest for balance on another level.

“Science and spirituality aren’t antonyms, instead they are kin…one simply being an extension of the other.”

– The Silent Scream